I want to share a spiritual experience of Love and insights into the limitations of the body and language.
It happened in 2007, 9 months after my first contact with spirituality. At that time I started reading the New Testament, then near death experiences and other spiritual literature.
The experience itself was a dream. In the dream I was laying on a bed one day before I die and it was all good. Suddenly my whole body was embraced by a beautiful energy or field. Immediately I knew that it was my mother. The energy felt peaceful, loving and protective. I knew that nothing bad could happen in this moment and my mother told me that it is all alright. Her energy was absolutely beautiful and it was the first time when I experienced so much love on the spiritual level, in a dream.
Then my mother moved to the side, we spoke a little bit and I died. I moved after that to the next environment where funny things happened and the dream continued. And here comes the interesting part.
At some point the thought that I am dreaming and I will wake up appeared. In this moment and probably a bit before that I felt again the beautiful energy that I experienced before. As the thought of waking up continued to exist and reappear in time, this energy was diminishing in its intensity and range. When I became aware physically of my head the energy dropped almost to 80%. Then I became aware of my spine laying on the bed, my hands and feet and the energy dropped to almost 95% of its original feeling, of its essence! Nevertheless, even with the remaining 5% my whole body felt rejuvenated and I woke up so happy! I jumped from bed and immediately wanted to write down my dream on paper so that I can share it with others.
I took paper and a pencil and started writing. I had dream, one day before I die, then the beautiful energy of my mother came. I didn’t know what word to use for “energy” because for a lot of people it could sound esoteric. I thought about using the word “field” (as magnetic fields), but it was very much a field that is alive and with feelings. I couldn’t find a better alternative and used the word “energy”. Then I started to describe how this energy felt. Peace. L … I wanted to write “Love”, and I was writing in Bulgarian language (“Любов”). As I started writing the first letter L (“Л”) I noticed that here am I, moving a pencil downwards and upwards on a paper, creating lines and some symbols … It felt so awkward! So disconnected from what I experienced, from the real source, from the essence, from the experience itself! The symbols or words “Love” were nothing in comparison to the real experience of Love! I was sitting baffled for a minute, wondering what to do. How best to transmit the experience itself? If I pronounced the word “Love” again, the it will not be the real experience itself … I couldn’t find a solution and because I wanted nevertheless to share it in some way I continued writing.
When I finished writing down the dream I reflected again on the question “How to best describe what I have experienced? How can I best communicate it?”. And the the thought of writing that I experienced the “Love of God” appeared. Why not. The quality or essence of the experience was very similar to what was described in the New Testament and the near death experiences. If instead of my mother I was recognizing God or Jesus, the Love was still so beautiful and amazing. The essence was the same, no matter which identity would be there. And then immediately I saw what would happen when I start sharing with my friends that I have experienced the “Love of God”. I have friends who dislike talks about God, and hate religions. If they read about the “Love of God” they would say “Hey”, “Are you crazy???”, “Did you become a believer???”, “Get out of here!” or whatever they would say it would be actually the opposite of what I am trying the share and communicate. Then there would be other friends, Christians, especially Protestants who would say “No, no! You haven’t experienced the Love of God! You experienced just some Love of your mother. First you have to accept and believe in Jesus to experience God”. And there would be other friends who would experientially know what I want to share would just get it without frictions and barriers. So what we are observing is that when I want to share one specific experience (a profound Love) just one word (“God”) can create the total spectrum of emotions, from hate to rejection to full acceptance.
As I continued with the question of how best I can describe my experience I recognized the very simple truth. I or every personality in the world, will describe their experience with the words that they most immediately associate with the kind of experience! We would use words that we can immediately connect to the experience and these words depend so much on our upbringing and environment! That’s why I chose the word “Love” because this word connects me best with the experience itself. If I spoke another language, I could use the word “ChiKaLu” and I would write that I experienced “ChiKaLu”! If I was raised as a Buddhist I would write that I experienced the Love of Buddha, or the compassion of Buddha.
And then I recognized how misunderstandings between religions happen. If we have Christians on the one side and Muslims on the other and if the Muslims say “We experience the Love of Allah”, the Christians would reply “There is no Love greater than God! And only through accepting Jesus you can experience the Love of God! Everything else is from the Devil!” Then the Muslims would reply with their specific thoughts and belief structures, and the Christians would continue with their belief structures too. “If you experience this, then this and that. You have to do this and that in order to reach and experience the true that”. Conditions, thoughts and beliefs are thrown at each group. What we are observing is that there is a communication and even fight on the level of language, the mental level! There is no sharing and communication on the level of the essence, the level of Love and Peace itself. The language is so tiny tiny representation of the real essence. The real essence, the real experience is so beautiful, so profound, so deep and full! The real essence is the most important and not the words.
How cool would it be if we could get Christians, Muslims, Buddhist and atheists in a circle, remove the language and words and let them communicate with their feelings. Let Christians share with feelings their Love of God, let Muslims share with feelings their Love of Allah, let Buddhist share their Love of Buddha and atheists share their Love of Life, Mathematics, Physics or whatever they love. What we will experience is just the pure sharing of Love itself! No thoughts and belief structures to oppose the movement of the feelings. Just sharing the purity of Love itself! Wouldn’t that be beautiful!
To summarize the learning from the whole experience. We looked at how the transmission of the essence of a spiritual experience gets lost on three levels: 1) the transition from the spiritual to the physical environment 2) creating a representation of the experience in the form of a writing or spoken language and 3) the interpretation of this representation by others. We saw also that if we want to live in a peaceful and mutually understanding way, it is better to connect more to the essence of what we want to communicate, than just to stay on the level of words and language.
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